With footnotes. Very important footnotes.
- Hahaha, nobody cares. Who do you think you are, [insert favorite celebrity here]? Who handed you a mic? Nobody. Nobody handed you a mic. The point isn’t that people don’t need your stories. They do. They just don’t know they do. They’re not knocking insistently at your door, asking you to tell them about your breakup or your beliefs about god. Are they? They aren’t. They don’t care.¹
- Oh my god. Wait. Do you even want people to know this stuff? Do you really want everyone to know about how you yelled and cried and banged your fists on the table? About just how scared you are? How messy?²
- Besides, the world has enough books. Just look at the pile on your own bedside table, staring you down as it looms ever taller. Even worse than the books: the emails. Delving into your inbox is like playing whack-a-mole; delete one, and up come three more. You really think people have time or attention to spend on your newsletter about pasta and the nuances of queer identity? That they won’t just send it straight to the trash folder, or leave it unread for weeks? You could try a blog, but who’s going to check it? Do people even read blogs anymore? The point is, we’re already saturated in content. Drowning in it. Nobody’s asking for more content.³
- In fact, you could spend the next 38 minutes, the next 73 minutes, the next literal three days just scrolling through the content that you haven’t yet seen on social media. You wouldn’t want to miss your friend’s proud engagement/pregnancy/promotion announcement, which will send you into just the insecurity spiral you’re craving on this blessed Thursday afternoon. Or there might be an extra good meme, or a new one of those cute inspirational drawings — you know, the frog in the mushroom hat, telling you you’re perfect no matter what? You’ll have to wade through all the Reels to get to it, though, as you groan about how Instagram isn’t what it used to be. It used to be creative and even sometimes beautiful, but now it’s trying to be TikTok or something, and you have explicitly resisted downloading TikTok because…oh, right, because it would be another distraction from writing. Yeah, you should probably download TikTok.⁴
- Maybe TikTok will be the place you finally find inspiration…